“If She’s Not Following, Are You Leading?”

Many men pray for their wives to follow them, yet few stop to ask if they are leading in a way that reflects Jesus. We’re quick to look outward when something feels off in our homes — but true leadership begins inward.

When God calls a man to lead, He doesn’t call him to rule. He calls him to serve. Ephesians 5:23 (CJB) says, “For the husband is head of the wife, as also the Messiah is head of the Messianic Community.” That means we are to lead like Christ leads — with sacrificial love, humility, and grace.

If your wife isn’t following, maybe it’s because she doesn’t see you following the One you claim to represent. Leadership without submission to Christ is hollow — it becomes control, not covering. The moment we stop sitting at the feet of Jesus is the moment our leadership loses its light.

When a husband leads in prayer, she finds peace in his presence.

When he leads in forgiveness, she finds safety in his spirit.

When he leads in consistency, she finds confidence in his direction.

So, brother, before you ask, “Why won’t she follow?”, ask yourself, “Am I still following Him?” Because a godly woman doesn’t resist godly leadership — she responds to it.

Christ doesn’t force us to follow Him; He invites us by His example of love. And as men, we’re called to do the same.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed, He gave Himself up on its behalf.”

— Ephesians 5:25 (CJB)

If you want to lead well, lead from your knees.

Because the best leaders are first great followers.
 

-Rev Carlos Figueroa